Why am I holding back?

As I worried over the changes all this would require, especially stepping back from my work and reducing my salary.  God chided me for “hoarding.”  Then He added,

Think about your intelligence.

Lord, are You suggesting that I am hoarding it too—holding it back instead of using it in Your service?”

Yes.

“Out of my own fear of not being up to the task?”

Yes.

“Lord, I can take actions You command, but I can’t change how I feel.”

I did not ask you to change your feelings.  You may still feel insecure if you want.  I asked you to stop hoarding your intelligence.  That is an action.

“Do you have something specific in mind?”

Yes, you could be talking to serious people with religious interests right now, and you’re not.  I’m not pushing you to work harder but you could be making notes toward articles.  But you hold back.  I am not directing you to do something different so much as not to hold back for the wrong reason, out of insecurity.