December 2022 -

“A Serious Question.”

December 29, 2022

A serious question.

My life with Abigail was not simple. She was still teaching full-time in New York, and I was working in Washington, D.C. Whenever possible we would spend all-too-brief weekends together.

Come summer, we were spending more time together. She needed a car. I looked at the ads and found a nice little white used car. The guy selling his car was the youth minister at a local church. I started to explain that I was buying it for my girlfriend. No, that would not sound right, and it was not true. I was buying it for my future wife. “I’m buying it for my fiancée.”

There had never been any doubt that I wanted to marry Abigail. I never considered anything short of that. But, in my methodical way, I had held off for six long months. It was time to pop the question.

I took her to a dark, romantic Spanish restaurant in Alexandria. I don’t know how we behaved in those days but the waiters called us the love-birds, and they put us in the “lovers’ cove” upstairs. I had written her a little poem, a bad poem. I can’t write poetry, but I thought the effort might soften her up.

But it was not our night. A thunderstorm came up and, just as I was warming up to ask her, water started dripping right on our table. Ink in the poem ran. We scooted the table to the side. And then I told her I loved her and would love her forever and would she be my wife? I knew well the scene in Hollywood movies; the woman looks longingly into her paladin’s eyes and gushes, “oh yes, yes!” Well, not the philosophical Abigail. I asked, and waited. And waited. Then waited some more. She seemed lost in deep thought.

Finally, I reminded her that I had asked a question and was still holding my breath for an answer. In the gravest tones, she said Yes. Why the long pause? “It was a serious question and I thought I should give it a serious answer.” She certainly had.

It will guide you to righteousness.

December 22, 2022

Righteousness:

Step through the door love has opened? The woman I loved was both very spiritual and very Jewish. Does it mean that I should convert to Judaism—something I had zero interest in doing? I asked, warily, “Lord, should I become Jewish?”

You already are Jewish.

Already Jewish? I am not at all Jewish. The little Texas town where I was born didn’t have any Jews.

“Lord, what do You mean?”

Think about it.

Even more warily, I asked, “Does it mean I have to be circumcised?”

No.

“Does it mean that my religious orientation is more Jewish than Christian or any other faith?” Certainly the God who spoke to me seemed a lot like the God of the Old Testament.

No.

“Does it mean that I understand, using a phrase of Abigail’s, the Jewish essence?”

It means you are open to the Jewish spirit, it lives in you, and you sometimes listen to it.

A source of great guidance, inspiration to you. The center of your being is grounded in it. It pleases me greatly that you honor the Hebrew scriptures. They are My word—and they contain the record of many of My dealings with men (people). Continue to study the Torah.

The Torah, the first five books of the Bible, is also called the Pentateuch or the Five Books of Moses.

It will guide you to righteousness. Do not falter or be deterred or distracted. My word is with you. Make the most of it.

“I will try, Lord.”

God: An Autobiography, As Told to a Philosopher – is the true story of a philosopher’s conversations with God. Dr. Jerry L. Martin, a lifelong agnostic. Dr. Martin served as head of the National Endowment for the Humanities and the University of Colorado philosophy department, is the founding chairman of the Theology Without Walls group at AAR, and editor of Theology Without Walls: The Transreligious Imperative. Dr. Martin’s work has prepared him to become a serious reporter of God’s narrative, experiences, evolution, and autobiography. In addition to scholarly publications, Dr. Martin has testified before Congress on educational policy. He has appeared on “World News Tonight,” and other television news programs.

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

Told anew. I felt like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz swept up in the whirlwind.

“It is time for it to be told anew.”

December 14, 2022

I had been told,

I want you to tell My story.

Thinking of the Bible, I said, “Lord, hasn’t Your story already been told?”

Yes. It is time for it to be told anew, and not in the same way.

We are entering an unusual time in the history of the world. The old religions are coming apart. Yet there is a renewal of religious spirit. Many of the great religions rested on a relatively clear reception of messages from Me. The new spirituality does not. It is aimless, made-up, impressionistic, psychologized, sometimes flaky and even dangerous and demonic. Not all “spiritual” forces are from God. Some are evil or distorted. A purity of message must be regained.

There is gain here as well. The old revelations were limited. They fit the understanding of people at the time. The messages were sometimes garbled or misunderstood or distorted over time.

I have evolved since then. There is new information to impart.

There it is again: God evolves.

A long history, has not been chronicled, of My development.

I would like to tell you that story and perhaps have you publish it.

My message is evolving over time.

You will carry it forward. Do not credit this to your ego—it will be My voice. (Just) focus on the task. The world’s religions have spent themselves. They need renewal.

Believe the inspirations I send you. Do not worry about any other standards than communicating correctly what I reveal to you. It may seem crazy to others. It (revelation) always does. This is the courage of the messenger.

I felt like Dorothy swept up in the whirlwind. And poor Abigail, would she be swept up too?

Over dinner, I broke it to her. She just listened, unfazed.

“I felt submissive; it sounded like orders from Above. I thought: Jerry is clearly not making it up. What it means in my life is, of necessity, open-ended. To receive such a directive is to move to a realm or level not foreseeable. It is a blessing.”

_______

God: An Autobiography, As Told to a Philosopher –

is the true story of a philosopher’s conversations with God. Dr. Jerry L. Martin, a lifelong agnostic. Dr. Martin served as head of the National Endowment for the Humanities and the University of Colorado philosophy department, is the founding chairman of the Theology Without Walls group at AAR, and editor of Theology Without Walls: The Transreligious Imperative. Dr. Martin’s work has prepared him to become a serious reporter of God’s narrative, experiences, evolution, autobiography and sparks of wisdom.

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

“For the first time, humans mirror Me, look at me eyeball to eyeball.”

December 8, 2022

God and Humans

I wondered how God interacted with these first humans. “Did You communicate with them verbally?”

In a sense. Early on, they do not have what can properly be called a language.

They have sounds and gestures (and) live in a very short time-horizon—no signifiers for things distant in time or space. I communicate in grunts and such like, in their inner ears, to give them a sense of awe and My presence. Of course, their consciousness is still very undifferentiated.

This is not a criticism or insult. They are quite wonderful creatures.

Some respond in a very spiritual way. They catch the drift and are in awe, and feel the splendor of creation and My divine presence.

“Do you give them commands?”

Yes. Some “grunts” are warnings not to do something. They live on the edge of subsistence and can be very cruel.

Life is brutal and they are often brutal. They die young. But that does not keep them from responding spiritually.

“What does this mean for You, for Your life?”

For Me, it means the first spark of real interpersonal interaction, not just vague spiritual rapport.

From very early, humans—protohumans—have a sense of something more, something higher. (Their sense of) the divine is not just fear and wish-fulfillment, though there is plenty of that. There is a real sense of relating to Me as a Person, not just as the vague spirituality of nature.

It is hard to convey in retrospect but, at this point, I do not quite know I have a personality, an individual personhood.

Events pass through my consciousness. I have a sense of My intelligence pervading the world, of fulfilling a universal telos. I feel a spiritual rapport with life. But none of that constitutes a sense of personhood, of an I standing opposite a You. The protohumans gave Me that, or I developed it or became aware of it in relation to them.

For the first time, human beings mirror Me, look at Me eyeball to eyeball.

“Tell My story as I tell it to you”

December 2, 2022

Tell My story:

“Lord, what exactly is my assignment?”

The world needs to understand My story, or at least to understand it better.

I have given parts of the story to different people at different times. The whole now needs to be told. Your effort will be part of telling that whole story.

“Do You want people to piece the whole together out of the parts?”

What I most want is for people to listen to Me.

“And to listen to what You have told various people over the ages?”

Yes, that is part of listening to Me.

“What exactly do You want me to write?”

God: An Autobiography. My story is the history of Me—how I came to be.

“The story of your interactions with various peoples?”

That but not only that. Tell it from My point of view, not the history of people’s experience of God.

“Lord, the total story of Your interaction with people would be too vast.”

No, all history is selective. Use a different word—like episodes—if you like.

But it is history in the sense of being chronological, developmental, and dramatic in some sense. There is a subjective point of view (Myself), intentions and concerns for the future, regrets about the past, and so forth.

“What are the materials for this history? The great religious texts?”

Yes, of course. That is one side of the human-divine (interaction), like hearing one end of a telephone conversation.

So that is one starting point. But there are others as well, and I have been leading you to them—the physical record, the geological record, the biological development, the stars and galaxies, time and creation, and so on.

And I will tell you many things Myself—that is the “new revelation” aspect. Nothing overly dramatic there—I reveal Myself all the time.

“So I should read the scriptures of the major religions?”

Yes, I want you to read the early spiritual history of mankind. I will lead you to which readings. I would like you to pray as you read them and take notes as directed.

I grew up at a time when “man” and “mankind” referred to both men and women, and God spoke to me in my own vernacular.

“Lord, You said I was to tell Your story ‘from the inside out.’ But reading the scriptures is ‘from the outside in.’”

Yes, tell My story as I tell it to you. The only purpose for reading is to give you reference points for understanding My story.

“Lord, if I am going to ‘get into Your head,’ it would be helpful to know what You are up to, what Your ultimate goal is.”

No, your job is not to “get into My head.” Remember, I am telling you what is “in My head.” You are not trying to empathize with a fictional or historical character. You have the living Person right here, and I will tell you.

“But, as I prepare for the work …”

You are making this falsely complicated because you are not trusting Me.

You think you will have to do this on your own by deciphering the cultural forms and so forth. But it is exquisitely simple. You ask Me what you are to read or to study. And then You ask Me what I was up to in relation to what you are reading or studying. And you don’t need to worry about the total compass or overall story, because I will lead you item by item.

“Lord, how should I approach the ancient scriptures?”

Get into the frame of mind for reading the (particular) work. That frame of mind is reverential, quiet, respectful, open-hearted. It does not consist of analyzing metaphors and stories of gods. Just take in what comes to you.

“Don’t worry about doubting.”

December 2, 2022

Doubting Divine Presence

I continued to investigate the problem of discernment. I looked for something more recent and found it in The Art of Praying: The Principles and Methods of Christian Prayer, by Romano Guardini. According to Monsignor Guardini, “It may happen in contemplation that we have a strange experience. We may have been reflecting on God in faith alone. Suddenly, God is present … a wall which was there before is there no more.” Okay, this spoke directly to my situation.

According to Guardini, there follows a period of divided reactions: “Our intuition tells us that this is God or at any rate connected with Him. The intimation may frighten us. [‘Yes,’ I thought.] We do not know whether we dare presume that this intuition is true and we are uncertain what to do. [‘Yes, exactly.’] However, the intuition becomes a certainty, even an absolute certainty which leaves no room for doubt. [‘That is true also.’]”

However, Guardini says, doubts may return “when we discover that other people have no knowledge of these things.” Yes, the problem of what will other people think. This, he says, can lead to total unbelief. “It may also happen that one doubts whether the whole experience had not merely been a delusion or temptation.” Well, I never went that far. But all is not lost, he says, if one follows this advice. “In the face of these difficulties and doubts one should remain calm and trust in God. One should submit to His will and pray for enlightenment.” “Thus,” he concludes, “faith is fortified and love becomes pure.”

In short, there is a problem in believing every voice you hear. But there is also a problem if, having sensed the divine presence, you give in to doubt.

“Lord, I am skeptical by nature and that worries me.”

Don’t worry about doubting unless it interferes with faith. Doubting is a natural response of a thinking mind to conflicting evidence. You may doubt—you might always doubt—but faith must transcend doubt as it transcends knowledge.

I determined to follow that path, maintaining a critical distance on my experience of God while, at the same time, yielding to divine guidance. It is not an easy balance to strike, but it seems to be a challenge at the heart of the life of faith. Would I be up to the challenge?