God: An Autobiography Archives

“I am in the midst of Nothingness.”

May 5, 2014

We should go back to the Beginning.

Enter into Me, and experience the Beginning as I experienced it. Record what I say as I re-experience that moment.

Enter into Me? I was not sure how to do that. I tried to still myself and yield to whatever experience I was about to be given.

I am in the midst of Nothingness …

“In the midst of Nothingness?” My logical alarms went off. “Lord, how can I make sense of this?”

Don’t worry now about making sense of it. Just listen.

I tried again to still myself and yield.

I am in the midst of Nothing.

I don’t know who or what I am—I am like a baby in a womb. I hear nothing, see nothing—because there is nothing. I feel alone, very alone, except that I don’t yet know what alone means. I feel growing strength, and Myself being drawn toward the light, just a glimmer at the “edge.” I am in a kind of “pain,” like stretching aching muscles.

Suddenly, it is as if I punch my arms and legs through the sides of a bag I’m in.

It is like an explosion. In a split second, fragments are zooming out in all directions. I am at a throbbing, pulsing center. I am not sure what’s happening. It is like a tightly coiled spring being suddenly released and springing out into a vast space instantaneously.

I scramble to take control, to provide order.

I tried to picture all this in terms of the Big Bang theory of the origin of the universe. In the first trillionth of a trillionth of a second, the new universe expanded faster, much faster than the speed of light. “Within a fraction of a second,” writes physicist Michio Kaku, “the universe expanded by an unimaginable factor of (10 to the 50^th power).” It became 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000 times bigger than it had been less than a second before.

“Lord, were there already laws of nature or did You have to establish those regularities?”

At this point, I know nothing about laws of nature. All is chaos.

Slowly I reach out to extend Myself over the whole, to infuse it. It becomes calmer, but still full of flux and dynamism and outward expansion.

I relapse, as if tired. I have done all I can do at that stage.

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Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

“A word to the Reader”

April 28, 2014

God’s story is about to take a dramatic turn, so it’s a good time to pause and think about what we are reading.

Up to this point, we’ve been told a lot, and it has zig-zagged all over the place. This is not fiction, and so there is no way to present the story other than in the jumbled way it actually happened.

We have been told all sorts of things, some comfortable, even familiar, and others uncomfortable, puzzling, or even disturbing.

That pattern will continue. However, things I was told early are, in later chapters, clarified and amplified and modified and deepened and extended. So, if something doesn’t sound quite right, stay tuned. It may make more sense to you later.

In general, things I was told fit together seamlessly when seen large. Worrying over details is like looking at a picture from one inch away.

The best way to read the book is to not over-think it. It is packed with philosophy just because that happens to be my line of work. It’s probably not yours. Take in what God intends for your eyes, for your life, and don’t worry about the rest. If you think you missed some important points, you can always go back and read it again later.

So far, the story is more about me than God. But God’s story is the one that counts. When God started telling me about the Beginning, I got really upset, and you may too. It doesn’t sound enough like Genesis – possibly my favorite book of the whole Bible. I was an agnostic yes, but I had been raised Baptist.

If God didn’t have anything to tell me that was new, on the other hand, He probably wouldn’t have bothered to get my attention in the first place.

I hope you don’t get as upset as I did but, if you do, I would suggest just reading on, without worrying over parts that do not speak to you. As you know, I do not claim to be infallible, only to be an honest reporter of what I am told when I pray. Nevertheless, I do feel certain, as certain as one can be about such things, that God has something important to say to you — and I speak now in the singular — to you in particular and to your life. Read on, with a willing heart and an open mind, and let God speak to you through this book.

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Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

The edge of infinity

March 24, 2014

That recollection rekindled my curiosity about Buber.

I started reading Maurice Friedman’s highly-praised biography of Buber on weekend trips to see Abigail, who was still teaching in New York. Buber’s first philosophical awakening occurred during adolescence, prompted by “the fourteen-year-old’s terror before the infinity of the universe.”

Buber writes:

“A necessity I could not understand swept over me. I had to try again and again to imagine the edge of space, or its edgelessness, time with a beginning and an end or a time without beginning or end, and both were equally impossible, equally hopeless. Under an irresistible compulsion I reeled from one to the other, at times so closely threatened with the danger of madness that I seriously thought of avoiding it by suicide.”

I stopped reading for a moment and, as the train rumbled on, I pondered the “edge of infinity.”

Being taken over by a powerful image that was both visual and visceral. And felt and saw space at its outer edges, rushing. Expanding outward, unfurling itself with vast force and at almost instantaneous speed. Without stop, neither a completed infinity nor merely finite. The vision had a tremendous feeling of life-force, of Being unfurled, bursting forth at a reckless speed.

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Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

This is not weird.

September 23, 2013

Some of the people I knew in Washington were men and women of great probity and spiritual depth.

One by one, I told each about hearing the voice, and what I had been told. One, a distinguished biologist, responded, “First of all, this is not weird.” Nothing he could have said would have been a greater relief to me. Another, a prominent author, said, first, “That’s great. Now you know there is a God.” And then added, “You have had a Kierkegaard moment,” recalling that philosopher’s question. “If you encountered Jesus on the streets of Copenhagen, would you follow him?”

While there were also cautionary responses, no one seemed to think I was crazy or a fool to take the voice seriously.

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God: An Autobiography, As Told to a Philosopher – is the true story of a philosopher’s conversations with God. Dr. Jerry L. Martin, a lifelong agnostic. Dr. Martin served as head of the National Endowment for the Humanities and the University of Colorado philosophy department, is the founding chairman of the Theology Without Walls group at AAR, and editor of Theology Without Walls: The Transreligious Imperative. Dr. Martin’s work has prepared him to become a serious reporter of God’s narrative, experiences, evolution, autobiography and sparks of wisdom. In addition to scholarly publications, Dr. Martin has testified before Congress on educational policy, appeared on “World News Tonight,” and other television news programs

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

Status is not worth a hill of beans.

September 1, 2013

Status-

There were other reasons not to accept the assignment. To devote the required time, I might have to quit my job. And my reputation and status would be jeopardized.

Status is not worth a hill of beans.

It’s your status with Me that counts. Jerry, you have great talent to give Me, to put in My service. Remember that it is not your talent, but Mine. I do not want to put you through unnecessary disruption. I have no desire to upset you or disrupt your life. But I need you to begin telling My word, My story. Not everyone can do this. You can. There are many fine voices, already testifying but they are not your voice. I need your voice too. You can offer something different. You can have a special mission, ministry, you’ll see.

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Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

I reveal things to people all the time.

June 26, 2013

Reveal-

“Lord, it sounds as if You want to announce a new revelation. In this day and age?”

There is nothing surprising or shocking in further revelations.

I reveal things to people all the time in many different ways—in prayer, inspiration, intuition, ethical insight, even aesthetic response.

________

God: An Autobiography, As Told to a Philosopher – is the true story of a philosopher’s conversations with God. Dr. Jerry L. Martin, a lifelong agnostic. Dr. Martin served as head of the National Endowment for the Humanities and the University of Colorado philosophy department, is the founding chairman of the Theology Without Walls group at AAR, and editor of Theology Without Walls: The Transreligious Imperative. Dr. Martin’s work has prepared him to become a serious reporter of God’s narrative. As well as experiences, evolution, autobiography and sparks of wisdom.

________

Listen to this and new series on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

One day, Jerry had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

What it is like to be God.

June 20, 2013

Abigail’s train had still not arrived. I paced back and forth, no longer seeing the other people in the station. What to think? What to feel? Finally, I forced a deep breath and, with irritation mitigated by resignation, asked, “Lord, what exactly do You want of me?”

I want you to describe the inner life of God, what it is like to be God.

The inner life of God? What it is like to be God? I didn’t know what this could possibly mean, but I forged on. “Lord, why is that important for us to know?”

Mankind sees God only from the outside and that leads to distortions in its view of God (as it would of anyone)—too distant, awesome, oppressive, Other. Even mystics are very one-sided. They experience oneness but that is not the same as empathizing with My subjective experiences.

Okay, I could see that, if God is too distant, it would be hard to relate to Him. But there was still a problem. “Lord, we think of God as being so infinite and ethereal that ‘subjective experience’ doesn’t even make sense.”

Exactly—that’s one of the distortions.

Although I am much more than a Person, I am a Person, a soul, like you. You—people—cannot relate properly, constructively, to Me unless you understand that. (Take) love, for example. My love comes across as impersonal, generic, oceanic wallowing, but (in fact) it is quite specific, concrete, with feeling, with response to the particulars of your being, of your life.

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God: An Autobiography, As Told to a Philosopher – is the true story of a philosopher’s conversations with the Divine. Dr. Jerry L. Martin, a lifelong agnostic. Dr. Martin served as head of the National Endowment for the Humanities and the University of Colorado philosophy department, is the founding chairman of the Theology Without Walls group at AAR, and editor of Theology Without Walls: The Transreligious Imperative. Dr. Martin’s work has prepared him to become a serious reporter of God’s narrative, experiences, evolution, autobiography and sparks of wisdom. In addition to scholarly publications, Dr. Martin has testified before Congress on educational policy, appeared on “World News Tonight,” and other television news programs

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

You hold Me at arm’s length.

June 19, 2013

Arms Length-

The next day, the words—“an instrument of revelation”—came to me. “Lord, is this what you want me to be?”

Yes, that’s right.

“What kind of revelation?”

And what kind of instrument.

First, I want you to model the spiritual life. Live it deeply. Theology is not just an intellectual exercise. It must be grounded in an intimate relationship with Me, an intimate openness to My Word.

“Aren’t I already open, Lord?”

Yes, but you turn away.

You know the problem- you hold Me at arm’s length. And listen to Me only part of the time, and only partially, not as a whole person. Draw Me into yourself totally—live through Me—and let Me guide you totally.

“But that sounds miserable. I couldn’t have fun and enjoy life any more.”

No, it doesn’t mean that. You will find life perfectly pleasant. This is not a renunciation. It is an affirmation, a growing in a certain direction, in a certain domain.

This reminded me of saying a sad farewell, before getting married, to all I would be “giving up”—having my apartment as messy as I wanted, living on pizza, watching the Late Late Show. It’s amazing what a bachelor can cherish as the good life.

“Lord, what do You want me to do?”

Nothing dramatic. Just pause in the course of the day to take Me in.

It doesn’t mean you have to interrupt other things you’re doing. But I will be co-present and a co-participant. Try that now, as you eat your lunch.

“Okay, Lord.” I drew Him in and unwrapped my sandwich. “Let me share this with You, Lord.”

Good.

That day I ate lunch “with God.” But most days I do not.

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Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

There is gain here as well.

May 29, 2013

There Is Gain-

There is gain here as well.

The old revelations were limited. They fit the understanding of people at the time. The messages were sometimes garbled or misunderstood or distorted over time.

Also, I have evolved since then. There is new information to impart.

There it is again: God evolves.

A long history, has not been chronicled, of My development.

I would like to tell you that story and perhaps have you publish it.

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Listen to this and other new series at God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

One day, Jerry had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. As a philosopher, Jery had a lot of questions. God had a lot to tell him.

“I was in the drop of water.”

March 1, 2013

Think about epiphanic experiences. When did you feel close to Me or most spiritually open?

“I can only remember the two experiences. The first was the I-Thou with a drop of water.”

Yes, that is very significant. What did you understand from that experience?

“I understood the subjectivity of all things … but I’m not sure that is quite right. I did not imagine the drop of water looking out at me or having feelings or the like. I just encountered the ‘suchness’ of it, its full independent integrity, my respect for it, that we were in some kind of relationship …”

That was an encounter with Me. I was in the drop of water—

Why not? Where else would I be? I am in everything. You suddenly became open to My presence in that drop of water. You did not think of it that way, and you were right. It is not that I as a great mystical being somehow inhabited this tiny object, but you rightly experienced the drop for what it was, and that is precisely how I am “in” things. As you can tell, I am in each thing “fully.”

That is a very significant experience, on a par with the great mystics and seers. You have had that sense of reality ever since. That was the foundation, or at least part of it, for your sense of piety with regard to the universe.

“Yes, I have always had the sense that somehow, even with all the suffering, everything is basically alright with the universe. Piety is respect or gratitude for the sources of one’s being. I felt that.”

Its suchness is its rightness, its integrity, its being what it is, and that is also what I am.

I want you to come back to this experience from time to time. It has much to tell you. That is enough for now.

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Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.