Think about epiphanic experiences.  When did you feel close to Me or most spiritually open?

“I can only remember the two experiences.  The first was the I-Thou with a drop of water.”

Yes, that is very significant.  What did you understand from that experience?

“I understood the subjectivity of all things … but I’m not sure that is quite right.  I did not imagine the drop of water looking out at me or having feelings or the like.  I just encountered the ‘suchness’ of it, its full independent integrity, my respect for it, that we were in some kind of relationship …”

That was an encounter with Me.  I was in the drop of water—

Why not?  Where else would I be?  I am in everything.  You suddenly became open to My presence in that drop of water.  You did not think of it that way, and you were right.  It is not that I as a great mystical being somehow inhabited this tiny object, but you rightly experienced the drop for what it was, and that is precisely how I am “in” things.  As you can tell, I am in each thing “fully.” 

That is a very significant experience, on a par with the great mystics and seers.  You have had that sense of reality ever since.  That was the foundation, or at least part of it, for your sense of piety with regard to the universe.

“Yes, I have always had the sense that somehow, even with all the suffering, everything is basically alright with the universe.  Piety is respect or gratitude for the sources of one’s being.  I felt that.”

Its suchness is its rightness, its integrity, its being what it is, and that is also what I am. 

I want you to come back to this experience from time to time.  It has much to tell you.  That is enough for now.

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

Moved away-

“In the fifties, my family moved to Riverside, California, and we attended a Baptist church.  We were taught that if you die as an infant, your soul automatically goes to heaven.  They sure lucked out, I thought.  Twelve is the age of reason and, after that, you go to hell unless you are saved.  I had reached that dangerous age.  I was on thin ice.

“About that time, my family went to a huge tent revival by Oral Roberts. The sermon was dramatic.  The evangelist told about Judas betraying Jesus, and I can still picture him making a noose out of the microphone chord as he tearfully pleaded with Judas not to hang himself—“don’t do it, Judas, don’t do it”—and slowly placed the noose around his own neck and enacted the whole scene before our very eyes.  I felt an urge to go forward and did so with the blessing of my parents.

“Afterwards, those of us who had come forward were directed to a side tent.  A nice woman knelt and prayed with me.  I felt nothing but the chill in the air.  Nevertheless, like Pascal, I thought I had better cover my bets and was baptized.”

Yes, those (experiences) were not epiphanic, but the opposite.

An epiphany is a moment of insight or revelation.  My experience had subtracted insight.

They moved you farther away.

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

One day Jerry had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

Profound Spiritual Effort-

I read through the entire Old Testament for the first time in my life.

I was struck by how “Jewish” it is.  And I don’t just mean the obvious—that it is by Jews and about Jews.  What had struck me is how realistic, feet-on-the-ground, unsentimental, non-ethereal the Jewish attitude to life is.

The Christians I grew up with were not like that.

No matter what happened—I remember the cat knocking over a lamp—my great aunt Ruth, a very sweet and wonderful lady, had the same response:  “Praise the Lord!”  A school can burn down and a Christian might say, “Thank God it wasn’t a school day.”  If it was school day, they would say, “Thank God it was during recess.”

The Jews I know, as well as those in the Old Testament, don’t talk that way.

When things are bad, they don’t pretend they are good.  When they have a complaint, they voice it guiltlessly.  They even argue with God and sometimes, as when Abraham persuades God to save Sodom if it contains “ten righteous men,” they win the argument.

By contrast, I had been reading The Early Christians in Their Own Words, by Eberhard Arnold.

The writings are from a time when Christians, like Jews before them, refused to bow to Roman gods and were viciously persecuted.  “What a beautiful sight it is for God,” writes one, “when a Christian wrestles with pain; when he takes up the fight against threats, capital punishment, and torture; when smiling he mocks at the clatter of the tools of death and the horror of the executioner … For he is the victor who has reached the goal of his aspirations.”

Another describes how Christians face death.  “

Cut by scourges until the anatomy of the body was visible, even to the veins and arteries, they endured everything.  Even the spectators pitied and bewailed them.  The noble martyrs of Christ attained such towering strength of soul that not one of them uttered a cry or groan.  They proved to all of us that in the hour of their torture they were free of the body, or rather that the Lord himself stood by them and talked with them.”

“Others long for “the crown of martyrdom.”

“It is our wish to be martyred for the sake of our Lord Jesus Christ and so be saved.”

“Lord, is this early Christian extremism justified?  Isn’t it too other-worldly?”

It was a great, very great, profound, trembling effort to create on earth the ideal brotherhood.  It lacked realism but it was filled with great and genuine love.  Not, as you tend to think, fanatical- it was devotional.

“The desire to die?”

No, that is a misreading.  They desired to glorify God, to imitate Christ, to serve Me, but not to die as such. 

They went through extraordinary suffering—so great it is almost shameful for you to question it.  There is absolutely nothing wrong with the course of worldly renunciation and love, but it is not required (of all).  Some must fight and defend the others.  But it was a corrective, a balancing to Old Testament war, conquest, and vengeance. 

There will come a time—a long time from now—when unrequited love will be common.

“You mean ‘unrelenting’ love?”

Yes—unselfish, sharing, uninhibited love.

“If that is long time off, then whatever is done by people living now will not be directly related to—in fact, will be irrelevant to—bringing it about.”  I found this thought distressing.  What we do won’t matter.

That is not quite right.  The human story will be very long.  Every step along the way is important. 

History has to be lived through.  You can’t start out at the final chapter.  What happens in Chapter Three is just as important.

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

 

The Feminine Side of God-

Protestants don’t “worship Mary,” as they suspect Catholics of doing, but for some reason I asked, “What about Mary?”

The feminine side of God—the healing side—is important in healing the world. 

Mary is a good embodiment, representation, reflection of that side of God.

________

God: An Autobiography, As Told to a Philosopher – is the true story of a philosopher’s conversations with God. Dr. Jerry L. Martin, a lifelong agnostic. Dr. Martin served as head of the National Endowment for the Humanities and the University of Colorado philosophy department, is the founding chairman of the Theology Without Walls group at AAR, and editor of Theology Without Walls: The Transreligious Imperative. Dr. Martin’s work has prepared him to become a serious reporter of God’s narrative. As well ass, experiences, evolution, autobiography and sparks of wisdom. In addition to scholarly publications, Dr. Martin has testified before Congress on educational policy, appeared on “World News Tonight,” and other television news programs

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

God spoke with authority. I felt I should be living in accord with His will, but daily distractions tended to crowd God out. I had to remind myself to check in. One morning, I remembered to ask, “Lord, do You have any instructions for me today?”

Behave lovingly toward others.

“What is love?”

Love is the openness of the heart, the soul, to the needs and hearts of others. It moves toward a union with them and a healing. It restores the fractured unity of the souls of those who love and those who are loved alike.

That made sense and, a few days later, while I was hurrying through the Washington crowds to get to a meeting, I heard,

Listen!

I stopped to listen and was told,

Love has opened the door—now step through it.

What could that mean?

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.

It seemed to be a training in obedience.  One day, after breakfast at a little café in Alexandria, I was told,

Don’t go to work.

“Lord, do you know we have to get that grant proposal in today?”

Of course.

My organization lived on grant money.  But the voice said not to go in.  What to do?  Well, the sky is not going to fall if the proposal goes in the following day.  I would go back to my apartment.

As I turned on the ignition, I heard the voice again.

You can go to work now.

I remember that incident because something was at stake, but usually I was told do something trivial, such as to listen to a different radio station or sit in a different chair.  As these arbitrary commands continued—mounted as it seemed—Abigail expressed concern.  This sounded more like Boot Camp than spiritual guidance.  Maybe I shouldn’t do everything I was told.  Maybe I should, as she put it, “use my intelligence.”  I was puzzled.  Was I supposed to second-guess God?

The next day I stopped at Border’s bookstore near Pentagon City.  On the way out, I felt guided to move in a particular direction, like a dowser following his stick:  first straight ahead, next to the right, then straight ahead, now stop.  I was at the religion section.  I felt guided down to the third shelf on the right, and finally to a particular book.

It was a book I never would have chosen on my own:  John Calvin’s commentary on the Gospel of John.  I know that Calvin is one of the great theologians of the modern era, but I had an impression of him as rigid and stern.  I picked up the book and it opened to John 8:28, where Jesus says, “I do nothing on my own.” Calvin explains that “Christ wants to prove that he does nothing without the Father’s command … he depends entirely on his will and serves him sincerely … he does not just partially obey God, but is entirely and without exception devoted to his obedience.”

It was a lesson in obedience.

Near the register, there was a display with another book I never would have bought on my own:  The Ten Commandments, by Dr. Laura Schlesinger and Rabbi Stewart Vogel.  Many people like Doctor Laura but the few times I had heard her on the radio, she seemed harsh rather than loving.  I believe in tough love, but she just sounded tough.  But I was guided to buy it and, opening it, my eyes fell on a line bold-faced in the text.  It is where the people of Israel accept the covenant:  “Everything that God has spoken we will do!”

Another example of total obedience.

I had been led to one other passage in Calvin’s commentary.  John 9:4 says, “We must work the works of him who sent me while it is day; night is coming when no one can work.”  Calvin comments, “… as soon as God enlightens us by calling us, we must not delay, in case the opportunity is lost.”

The note of urgency reminded me of the story a village chief in eastern Brazil told of his own encounter with a divine being.

He had encountered the being while out hunting, but was too scared to speak and the being left.  “At night while I was asleep he [the divine being] reappeared to me. … He led me some distance behind the house and there showed me a spot on the ground where, he said, something was lying in storage for me.  Then he vanished.  The next morning I immediately went there and touched the ground with the tip of my foot, perceiving something hard buried there.

But others came to call me to go hunting.

I was ashamed to stay behind and joined them.  When we returned, I at once went back to the site he had shown me, but did not find anything any more.”  He had missed his moment.  I did not want to miss mine.

________

Listen to this on God: An Autobiography, The Podcast– the dramatic adaptation and continuing discussion of the book God: An Autobiography, As Told To A Philosopher by Jerry L. Martin.

He was a lifelong agnostic, but one day he had an occasion to pray. To his vast surprise, God answered- in words. Being a philosopher, he had a lot of questions, and God had a lot to tell him.