I have given you some clues . . .

I had received visions of the explosive expansions of time and space, and of divine energy rushing up through all levels of reality. Were these intimations of Creation? I was told,

The work I want you to begin involves reading and writing about My nature. Start with the Creation. I have given you some clues already. Follow up on them.

One day, in quiet reflection, I was taken deep into the Self, taken back, it seemed, to the Beginning. Here is how I described it right afterwards:

“There was a sense of things shattering, like crockery breaking, or like the shell of an egg breaking. (I think of Kabbalah and its image of Creation as divine vessels breaking.) Then there is a river, or milk, flowing out from amidst the shards. The river is clouded in mist and flows a long way down canyons of shards or rocks. Until it settles in a pool below. Tranquil waters. This is when Life begins. Cool, calm but rippling waters.”


All this was taking place on a flight to California to visit my ninety-year-old father. Sitting beside me was a nine-year-old girl, traveling alone. She kept looking at me, wondering what I was up to. Ignoring her was unkind, so I stopped praying and chatted with her.

After that, I returned to my own meditations and received a stream of visual images, a vision: the sun cracking up, solar flares that zoomed out into the reaches of space. I then saw, through the mist, an ethereal caravan of camels and their riders, coming up a valley, their long line stretching behind, down a winding road into the distance. I followed the road back to the source. I came upon vast winds, like a monsoon, then a world exploding—and then the vision abruptly stopped. The caravan seemed to represent the long course of human history, traced backward, all the way to the beginning, and then nothing.

I had received hints about the moment of Creation. Then, one day, He told me more. This is where God’s story really begins.

“Beauty also becomes possible . . .”

Beauty also becomes possible, as you see in prehistoric cave paintings.  Creatures from a very low level enjoy and appreciate sensory stimulation.  In that sense they find a scene (though not quite a “scene” for them yet) “beautiful.”  But true appreciation of beauty is seeing an ideal form in something material.  What they are drawing on cave walls are ideal bulls.

“I have seen those drawings.  They are amazing.”

Study the cave paintings and other artifacts.  They respond to, reflect, how I was presenting Myself to them.  You will be able to see or infer what My experience was like, what I was trying to do.

“I am in the midst of Nothingness.”

We should go back to the Beginning.  Enter into Me, and experience the Beginning as I experienced it.  Record what I say as I re-experience that moment.

Enter into Me?  I was not sure how to do that.  I tried to still myself and yield to whatever experience I was about to be given.

I am in the midst of Nothingness …

“In the midst of Nothingness?”  My logical alarms went off.  “Lord, how can I make sense of this?”

Don’t worry now about making sense of it.  Just listen.

I tried again to still myself and yield.

I am in the midst of Nothing.  I don’t know who or what I am—I am like a baby in a womb.  I hear nothing, see nothing—because there is nothing.  I feel alone, very alone, except that I don’t yet know what alone means.  I feel growing strength, and Myself being drawn toward the light, just a glimmer at the “edge.”  I am in a kind of “pain,” like stretching aching muscles.

Suddenly, it is as if I punch my arms and legs through the sides of a bag I’m in.  It is like an explosion.  In a split second, fragments are zooming out in all directions.  I am at a throbbing, pulsing center.  I am not sure what’s happening.  It is like a tightly coiled spring being suddenly released and springing out into a vast space instantaneously.

I scramble to take control, to provide order.

I tried to picture all this in terms of the Big Bang theory of the origin of the universe.  In the first trillionth of a trillionth of a second, the new universe expanded faster, much faster than the speed of light.  “Within a fraction of a second,” writes physicist Michio Kaku, “the universe expanded by an unimaginable factor of (10 to the 50th power).”  It became 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000 times bigger than it had been less than a second before.

“Lord, were there already laws of nature or did You have to establish those regularities?”

At this point, I know nothing about laws of nature.  All is chaos.

Slowly I reach out to extend Myself over the whole, to infuse it.  It becomes calmer, but still full of flux and dynamism and outward expansion.

I relapse, as if tired.  I have done all I can do at that stage.