“Pure energy, pure creative force, pure Being…”




Later I was told more about God at the Beginning.

Before I was a Person, I was around “for a long time.”  First there was Nothingness, not just empty space—there was no space and time either.  Out of Nothingness I erupted, “created” Myself.  At that point, I was just pure energy, pure creative force, pure Being, Being itself.  Space and time were created as a result of my Being.  They were the frames of My existence.  The physical universe spun out of Me by My overflowing.  I am the to-be of all things.  I was not yet a Person.  I was not yet self-aware.  I was amorphous energy flowing out radically in all directions.  (Before Creation) I am pure spirit, sufficient unto Myself, and have no “body.”  And I did not exist in a world with physical bodies.  I felt I was lacking something—grounding, facticity, the blunt materiality, the standing-against, the hard edge to push oneself against, the resistance and friction that physical objects have.  So, out of my Being, a world was spun.

“I am in the midst of Nothingness.”

We should go back to the Beginning.  Enter into Me, and experience the Beginning as I experienced it.  Record what I say as I re-experience that moment.

Enter into Me?  I was not sure how to do that.  I tried to still myself and yield to whatever experience I was about to be given.

I am in the midst of Nothingness …

“In the midst of Nothingness?”  My logical alarms went off.  “Lord, how can I make sense of this?”

Don’t worry now about making sense of it.  Just listen.

I tried again to still myself and yield.

I am in the midst of Nothing.  I don’t know who or what I am—I am like a baby in a womb.  I hear nothing, see nothing—because there is nothing.  I feel alone, very alone, except that I don’t yet know what alone means.  I feel growing strength, and Myself being drawn toward the light, just a glimmer at the “edge.”  I am in a kind of “pain,” like stretching aching muscles.

Suddenly, it is as if I punch my arms and legs through the sides of a bag I’m in.  It is like an explosion.  In a split second, fragments are zooming out in all directions.  I am at a throbbing, pulsing center.  I am not sure what’s happening.  It is like a tightly coiled spring being suddenly released and springing out into a vast space instantaneously.

I scramble to take control, to provide order.

I tried to picture all this in terms of the Big Bang theory of the origin of the universe.  In the first trillionth of a trillionth of a second, the new universe expanded faster, much faster than the speed of light.  “Within a fraction of a second,” writes physicist Michio Kaku, “the universe expanded by an unimaginable factor of (10 to the 50th power).”  It became 10,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000,000, 000,000,000,000,000,000 times bigger than it had been less than a second before.

“Lord, were there already laws of nature or did You have to establish those regularities?”

At this point, I know nothing about laws of nature.  All is chaos.

Slowly I reach out to extend Myself over the whole, to infuse it.  It becomes calmer, but still full of flux and dynamism and outward expansion.

I relapse, as if tired.  I have done all I can do at that stage.